eve, if you eat that apple you will die.

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
captainjonnitkessler
machine-saint

remember, it's imperative to turn your aesthetic preferences into moral ones. you can't just dislike neutral colors, or glass-and-steel skyscrapers, or flat design, they have to be symbols of neoliberal capitalism in decay. it's incredibly important that you make sure everybody knows that the only reason anyone could like the things you don't like is that they're an empty shell of a person.

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cthulhu-with-a-fez
play-now-my-lord

gambling with angels is easy. they can't lie but they have addictive personalities; it's easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say "hey, watch this" and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they'd be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i'm talking "raise on a two pair" level bad at it, but they couldn't stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off

newgameplus
pftones3482

It's midnight, I made a Phineas and Ferb quiz, and now I'm going to bed. Goodnight I love y'all

pftones3482

image

A tragedy in two parts

pftones3482

Everyone taking this quiz, getting Buford, and going "No I don't want that answer," and then retaking the quiz to get the answer you DO want - I hate to break it to you, but that is a very Buford thing to do.

buford. which you know what fair every time i take clippers to my head i end up with a buford ass haircut